Sep 16, 2019
There are few people I know who are as competent and smart about how the negotiation questions we use impact the way the conversation goes than Dan Oblinger. Dan’s experience as a hostage negotiator coupled with his drive to understand the impact of deep listening is at the root of this superpower. He’s a fount of nuanced knowledge and he shares it so generously during this conversation.
We talk about what he calls “Garbage questions” and why they are so bad, why we need to ask questions that deserve to be answered, and how we can KNOW we are utilizing the best questions possible. There is so much information in this episode you should listen to it twice — and take notes both times! Enjoy!
Outline of This Episode
- [2:05] Dan Oblinger’s insights into the role of negotiators and the power of negotiation
- [4:22] Most of the questions you ask are based on your preferred approach (and it’s horrible)
- [5:59] How can we ask questions that deserve to be answered?
- [13:01] Why questions are super risky but the simplest path to deep emotional responses
- [15:07] Are there ways to over-empathize as you ask questions
- [20:13] How to keep emotions in check when conversations begin to escalate
- [26:55] Why you need to treat the other person’s story with respect
- [31:06] Curiosity is at the heart of good questions — and it requires humility
Connect with Dan Oblinger
- Dan’s website: https://masterlistener.com/
- Dan Oblinger on LInkedIn
Connect With Mark
- Follow Negotiations Ninja on Twitter: @NegotiationPod
- Connect with Mark on LinkedIn
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- Connect on Instagram: @NegotiationPod